Skip to main content

Marriages in India

Have you ever been to a marriage where you are the only family member?

It has been more than a year that I attended a marriage where I was the only family member available for the whole night, and the full family is consist of more than 50 people.

I WAS THERE BECAUSE I BELIEVE EVERY ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE THEIR LIFE PARTNER, GOOD OR BAD, WHATEVER. WHO AM I TO JUDGE SOMEONE? Ho sakta hai ki mujhe kisi insan se parasani ho par iska ye matlab nahi ki mai apne vichar puri duniye pe thop de. Us waqt mere akele hone ki em matr wajha ye thi ki kisi ne baki sabhi par apne vichar thop diye the, aaj v thopa hua hai aur log duvidha me kaha ki kya kare, kaha jai? Par sachai to yahi hai ki aap apne vichar ek bar to kisi pe thop sakte hai par bar bar bhut dino tak to nahi. Apne vichar apne tak rakhiye, dusro ko apne vichar jahir karne dijiye.

I really don't understand why do we have this culture to choose the life partner for others? where do we find this culture? I have heard of Radha-Krishna, Shiv-Parvati... I have heard of competitions where the winner would get the chance to marry the princess... I have seen movies, classical to modern, where either love marriage is promoted or arranged marriage is criticized. but I never found any demonstration of arranged marriage. 
Ok, I won't call arranged marriage wrong, till it is approved by the person who is going to marry. But do we have the right to forcefully make one marry our particular choice? like what we are? GOD? I don't think so. And even god would never do so. If you really want to choose, then, choose your own life partner. One has the full rights for that.

Another problem is early age marriage, especially in girls. Jivan ki sabse badi jimmedari hai bacho ki shadi aur jitni jaldi kar den utna acha? Sunte the ki pahle to janam hote hi shadi v ho jati thi, shukar hai ki aab ye nahi hota. isme ladko ko thodi chut hai, sayad sapne pure karne ka haq sirf ladko ko hi hai, ladkio ko kaha iski jarurat?
Agar aap sochate hai ki ladkiya apne sapne shadi ke bad v pure kar sakti to aap galt hai, pahli bat to ye ki agar koi parivar choti umar ki ladki ko bahu banana chahata to unki soch kafi choti hai aur aap ki beti ke sapne bhut bade. Dusri bat ki ek bahu ko pahle apne ghar parivar ka khayal rakhna hota hai warna wo achhi bahu nahi kahalati, to in sab ke bich sapne uski aankhon me kahi kho kar rah jai ge. 
Aapki beti me kuch kami hai? Nahi na? To aap ki beti ke liye bhut sare ache rishte aai ge, sahi waqt ka intezar kijiye, unhe v kuch kar dikhane ka ek mauka to dijiye.
Apni beti ko ek bhut hi kabil insan banne ke liye prerit kijiye ki wo kabhi kisi pe dependent na ho, ha aap apni jimmedari se mukt to nahi ho ge par mai aap ko wada kar sakta hu ki aap jab apni beti ko ek kabil Insan bana dekhe ge to har bar aap ki aankhen garv ke mare num ho jai gi. Aur utna hi abhiman aap ki beti ko v ho ga aap par. Aap duniya ke nazro me aur upar chadh jai ge. Aur iske bad v aap ki beti ke pas shadi ke liye kafi waqt ho ga. To tab aap apni jimmedari puri kijiyega. Aur abhi to sarkar v kitni kosish kar rahi hai, #BetiBachaoBetiPadhao jaise abhiyan chala rahi hai.

Chaliye mai aap ko ek chota sa udaharan deta hu ek pakshi ka. Ek pakshi jab apane bache ko janam deti hai to apane bache ke liye ghoshal banati hai, apane choch me khana la kar apane bache ko khilati hai. Phir jab uske pankh nikal aate hai to use azad kar deti uuche aakash me udne ke liye. Hum manushya kya karte hai jab humare bacchon ke pankh nikal aate hai? Unke pankh bandh dete hai. Jiska hume koi haq nahi. Mata pita to sirf janam data hai, bhagyavidhata to wo uupr wala hi hai. 

Pata hai sabse badi parashani kya hai? Samvad ki kami-  Maa bap aur bacho ke bich... Maa bap apne bacho se behad pyar karte hai aur unki har khuaish puri karte hai, bachpan se bade hone tak. Khushiya ki bat to chalo bilkul sahi hai, par parashanio ka kya? kitne bache aise hote hai jo apni glati aapne maa bap ko bata sakte hai? Aur hal aisa hota hai ki hum bhut badi musibat me v ho to v hume apane maa bap se bat karne me dar hi lagta hai... dosto ko bata den ge, par maa bap ko nahi. Bacho me bharosa to hota hai ki mumma papa uska sath den ge... Par wo himmat nahi hoti ki unke samane apane bare me kuch bol sake... Ise solve karne ke liye Maa bap ko suru se wo comfort zone banana pade ga ki bachi sirf apni achi baate hi nahi, apni buri se buri bat v aap ke sath aa kar share kar sake, agar aisa ho gaya to is world me suidcide ki count me bhut kami aa jai gi.
Aur phir shadi, Shadi ki bat to uske parivar wale hi kar rahe? To koi paraya hota to unse ladne ke liye becha himmat v karta par apano se kaise lade koi? wo kisi ko bata v nahi pata, kise batai ga? Aur kuch v batai gai to usme usi ke parivar ki burai jo gi... badi duvidha hahi...Aise waqt me bacho ko kisi apane ke sath ki jarurat hoti hai jo uske liye lad sake, use defend kar sake... 

Pata hai, is ekishwi sadi me agar aap ka beta kuch kar jai to bhut khushi hoti hai, par agar aap ki beti kuch kar jai to sina garv ke mare 56 inch ka ho jata hai. Shadi to hoti rahe gi par uske sapne aur khuaishon ko mauka dobara nahi mile ga. Aur shadi tab hi kariye jab aap ke bacho ko man ho, aur sirf unce jisce wo chate ho, wo aap ki ya uske khud ki pasand ho sakti hai.

NO FORCEFUL MARRIAGE, NO EARLY MARRIAGE.

Popular posts from this blog

My Interview | as if I wrote it.

It started when I got qualified for the 2nd level test for Persistent Systems, I was the only one from my college qualified for the Advanced Coding test. It was a coding test and I was disconnected form coding for last two years, this made my friends say that I cannot make it up. I too smiled and replied, but I was hurt from the inside. The day before the coding test, I told few of my friends that I am going to make it up. I didn't had any preparations, I was studying JAVA when one of my friends called and adviced me to go for sample questions of Advanced Coding test and not JAVA theory. I went with his advice and opened a few sample questions, was unable to solve any as I was trying the hardest one, but still, I believed I will make it up. The next day my code passed 14  out of 15 test cases in my Advanced Coding round. I was one of the only 7 people qualified out of 3 groups of colleges( 25+ colleges in West Bengal). Now I was not prepared for the technical Inte...
Read more

Dog and Master | Inspired by Django

"You will always remain a dog... Until you are taught to be the master..." If I say in nice words, "You will always be dominated by others until you are taught to dominate others..." This is the rule of nature, the animal which can dominate other animals rules the Jungle and no one is there to question unless the ruler's dominance falls weak. This fact is well displayed in the movie Django, A black man named Django serving as a slave for years was bought by a businessman, obviously for personal benefits, but apart from that personal benefit, he declared him a free man and taught him to be a free man and also, how to do the business that he did. At the end of the movie, Django was supposed to free his wife from some white owner. He went to that place, that businessman accompanied and suggested a plan but the plan failed and got the businessman killed and himself slaved again. On the way when Django was being carried in a cell by 3 white men along wit...
Read more

Normal and Smart Parents

Parents are parents... what is this normal and smart ??  Exactly! Parents are Parents, just the difference lies in the way of influence and execution. let's talk in details... I ask you to do something for me... how many times will you do it for me?? What if I asked u to do the same job for yourself, where I made u count your benefits and generated some interest in you. Won't you be doing it better and for a longer time? You are doing the same job ... but there is a huge difference. I can assure you the second one will prove to be better....and that is how smart parents operate. They never set rules, you are never forced, u are just made aware of the benefits and awakened some Interest, and you work on your own. Unlike the normal parents who try to impose their decision. let us take an example of one's gf or bf, we all are happy to have one, Right ?? Now parents worry about there child and the families reputation... Right?? So normal parents will ...
Read more